Self-Care Tips for Therapists You Actually Need
Self-Care Tips for Therapists You Actually Need
I can already hear it now: the groan emerging from your chest as, yet again, you get reminded about self-care as a therapist. I remember groaning that way too. I get it. The preachiness of self-care that seems to be a universal component of all grad programs, often delivered as fluff.
In my own program, my practicum class ended the same way every time: a go-around where we all spoke our self-care plans into the circle. I don't know about you, but there are only so many times I can hear my classmates talk about bubble baths, exercising, meditation, and long walks in the woods before the whole thing seems performative.
This practice also plays into the meme culture that self-care has become. Internet culture often portrays self-care as self-indulgence: shopping, wine, binge-watching Netflix.
Now, don't get me wrong. Those things can be part of your self-care. Time for levity and relaxation is crucial. However, they are far from the whole picture. Relying solely on these strategies will leave you feeling shortchanged.
True self-care means taking care of all of yourself.
Sometimes it brings us light and levity. Other times, it's about making ourselves do the hard things. It's self-parenting, holding ourselves accountable for the tasks we might not love but that keep us grounded and prevent us from getting overwhelmed.
It's making ourselves go to bed at night. Remembering to eat. Taking 5 minutes between sessions to stretch our legs and, heaven forbid, run to the bathroom. It's learning that while, as natural caregivers, we tend to put others first, that internal "no" – our boundaries – is crucial and needs to be honored.
With that in mind, here are some self-care strategies they should have taught us all in grad school:
1. Figure Out Your Case Note Strategies
It floors me how little time is dedicated to writing effective case notes in our training. As a supervisor with 15 years of experience, I see inconsistencies in template use, content, and detail. But one thing is consistent: therapists struggling to stay on top of case notes. I commonly see horror stories online about people falling hopelessly behind. This becomes a stressful nightmare, weighing on you to the point of distraction.
Find a strategy that works for you. Include enough detail to demonstrate your work without revealing information that could be problematic or damaging to your client. Take a good course. Find a template that aligns with CRPO and your professional association guidelines. Bring notes to supervision and ask for feedback.
While some flexibility is necessary, get in the habit of not considering your workday finished until your case notes are done too.
Trust me, going to bed at night without the weight of unfinished case notes is incredible self-care and leads to a better night's sleep.
2. Embrace Uncertainty, Live with the Gray
Including the fact that we are all good and bad. When we lean too far into thinking the world is just and absolute, we risk moral injury. Riva Stoudt says it best in her "A Therapist Can't Say That" podcast (highly recommended for all therapists).
Our greatest gift as therapists is helping our clients tolerate uncertainty and live in a complex world. When we embrace this for ourselves, we enrich the clinical experience for our clients and ensure we have the tools to navigate our own morally complex world.
As a therapist, you'll encounter terrible stories. You'll sit in the discomfort of the worst ways humans harm each other. If you can care for yourself through this and not succumb to despair, you'll also witness the triumph of human healing and the incredible resilience of the human spirit.
3. Develop a Ritual for Leaving Work at Work
As therapists, we carry a lot with us after work. It weighs on our minds, hearts, and bodies. I learned early on to develop rituals to mentally leave my work at the office.
- Mental Exercises: Write down a few things you're proud of from your workday. Visualize your clients' issues as dandelion seeds and breathe them out, symbolically releasing them. If you practice EMDR, consider a container exercise to close the day.
- Physical Practices: Roll your shoulders to release tension, stretch your jaw, or try a short chair yoga sequence. My personal favorite is cycling to and from work. The cardio helps me breathe it out of my system and come home refreshed. Mindful walking is another great option.
4. Find Your People
I cherish my support network. I may not use them often, but I couldn't survive without them. From ethical dilemmas to paperwork questions, having folks on speed dial is essential.
We are often isolated in private practice. Find ways to build community. Don't limit it to professional dilemmas. Grab lunch. Form an informal peer supervision group. Spend time together. Don't go it alone!
5. Make Friends with Your Imposter Syndrome
Two things they never told me in grad school: 1) Imposter syndrome is real. 2) It never goes away.
We work in secrecy. We don't witness other therapists' work. We don't get a scorecard at the end of a session. Change is messy and takes time. The immediate fruits of our labor are rarely seen. We're a captive market for endless trainings, always feeling like our knowledge base is inadequate.
Know that these factors will always create uncertainty, and therefore, imposter syndrome will persist. But make friends with it. It keeps us on track. It's our ethical compass, driving us to keep growing and learning. It's the inner critic of every good therapist.
Find a supervisor who creates a safe space to discuss these insecurities and nurtures your therapeutic identity as you navigate these questions. Imposter syndrome should be a tool, not a consuming force.
6. Beware of Predatory Clinic Models
The field has changed. When I started, therapists primarily worked independently or shared offices. Now, with the rise of mega-therapy clinics, that collegiality is fading.
Some clinics take excessively high percentages of therapists' hourly wages. Some classify therapists as independent contractors but treat them as employees. *Some have clauses prohibiting you from taking clients with you when you leave (which is against CRPO regulations). *Many have receptionists assign clients, potentially placing therapists outside their scope of practice.
Don't sign anything without having a lawyer review it. Know the college's rules for contracts. No clinic should prioritize their financial interests over client healing. Look out for yourself. Your practice will thrive if you build it with the right support.
7. Find a Supervisor You Really Jive With
Supervision should extend beyond case consultation. It's about finding a space where you can be vulnerable, have a cheerleader, and get guidance in developing your therapeutic identity. You should have a space to discuss how your own life challenges impact your work without fear of judgment.
Like therapy, it's about the relationship.
If you're unhappy with your supervisor, don't be afraid to shop around and find someone you truly connect with.
Speaking of which - supervision is something I offer! I am always open to chatting with new and interested supervisees! I'm always happy to offer a free consultation to anyone interested in starting supervision to get to know me and ensure I am the right supervisor to help nurture you on your journey.