‍Finding the Right Therapist‍

‍

Some day we hope to find the one for us…and by the one I mean therapist of course! 

‍

Starting therapy is a huge step in looking after your wellbeing. It can be intimidating and feel like dating or job-hunting. But, the right fit for you is out there. Knowing your needs and what to look for is the best recipe for finding that right fit!

‍

Why does the right fit matter?

‍

Your relationship with your therapist is what we often call a therapeutic alliance. Having a therapeutic alliance is crucial for successful therapy. Being comfortable with your therapist boosts outcomes by:

‍

• Allowing you to be honest without fear of judgement
• Creating a safe space for you to express your deepest thoughts 
• Motivating you to show up and engage 

‍

A strong therapeutic alliance builds trust, allowing for real growth to come out of therapy.

‍

What are you looking for?

‍

Finding the right therapist starts with knowing what it is that you’re looking for. Before you go scrolling online, stop and think about what you want to come out of therapy. Do you need help processing trauma? Do you wanna learn how to cope with anxiety? Do you need help building self-esteem? Having clear goals helps you identify what kind of therapist you need - whether you look for deep exploration of your emotions or skills-focused approach. Knowing what you're looking for makes the search a lot less daunting. 

‍

Cultural Connection and Identity Match

‍

Sometimes people find having a therapist who shares similar cultural background, language, or identity can make therapy feel a lot safer. Wanting someone who understands your lived experiences whether it’s about immigration, race, sexuality, gender, religion, or values. This isn’t being “picky,” but recognizing what makes you feel comfortable in therapy. Finding that cultural connection and snatch in identities can help us build trust, open up, and feel seen.

‍

Different Types of Therapy

‍

Therapeutic methods are not one-size-fits-all, find what resonates with you. Here’s a quick summary of some different methods:

‍

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy : An approach that focuses on challenging maladaptive thoughts to change their responses to events.
• Psychodynamic : A form of talk-therapy that focuses on how unconscious thought patterns shape your emotions and behaviour.
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) : An approach that helped relieve the feelings of disturbing memories. It involves using eye movement and following guided instructions, accessing those memories will help you reprocess the event.

‍

Is it the right fit?

‍

‍

Great! You found a therapist and have started your sessions…but is it the right fit? Pay attention to how you feel. Here’s some questions you might want to think to yourself:

‍

Do I feel listened to? 

• Do I feel respected and safe?
• Do I feel judged and talked over?

‍

Does this therapist seem to understand me?

• When I expressed my concerns, did they understand what I meant?

‍

Do I feel comfortable being honest?

• Could I see myself opening up more over time?
• Do I feel like I need to hold back?

‍

Do I like how they communicate?

• Are they warm and clear?
• Do they talk too much or too little?

‍

Does their approach resonate with me?

• Do I understand how their therapy works?
• Is this method best for my needs right now?

‍

How does my body respond?

• Do I feel calmer and lighter after our sessions?
• Or, do I feel more anxious and uneasy?

‍

The right fit isn’t someone who’s absolutely perfect, but who makes you feel safe enough to keep coming back!

‍

When it doesn’t feel right

‍

‍

Finding the right fit on your first try would be great, but it doesn’t always happen. What if you don’t feel safe coming back? Maybe they aren’t the right fit for you, and that’s okay. If you feel misunderstood, dismissed, maybe even a little judged, something isn’t right. Therapy is your safe space, you shouldn’t feel like you’re holding back or putting on a performance. Here are some red flags in therapists to look out for:

‍

• Boundary crossing
• Talking more about themselves than about you
• Minimizing your experiences
• Consistent interruption 
• Appearing distracted or not present during sessions

‍

Switching therapists isn’t mean or giving up, it’s looking out for yourself and your journey to healing. A therapeutic alliance that helps you grow is out there!

‍

Therapy Myth-Busters 

‍

#1: A good therapist will tell me what to do.

Truth: Therapy is collaborative! A good therapist helps you understand your feelings so you can make the best choices for you.

‍

#2: If it feels weird at first, they’re not the right fit.

Truth: Not necessarily. Sometimes we need time to grow comfortable. 

‍

#3: Therapy is only for people in crisis.

Truth: We all need someone to talk to! Whether we want to grow, explore, or just need a little support.

‍

#4: A therapist will fix me.

Truth: Nothing about you is broken. Therapy isn’t about being fixed, but about understanding yourself and building tools for your journey of healing. 

‍

Conclusion

‍

Finding the right therapist might take multiple tries, but it is worth it. Having that strong therapeutic alliance that allows you to feel seen, supported, and grow comfortably is what you deserve. Trust your intuition, ask yourself questions, and remember it’s okay if you and your therapist don’t click. Don’t be afraid to test the waters with different therapists in order to find what’s best for you. Finding the right fit is where meaningful change begins. 

‍

If you’re ready to explore, check out our therapists with Vistas Wellness and see if one of us is the right fit for you.

‍