Beneath the Surface: How Attachment Styles Shape Addiction

Growing up children go through crucial developmental stages that shape who they are, how they build relationships with others, and their world view. It can be helpful to have loving and supportive parents and loved ones in these stages. The ones closest to the child, usually parents, play an important role in a child's early life. How they act toward their child can influence their emotional and behavioural responses, or what is known as their attachment style. 

What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment styles come from the child's relationship with their parents or people closest to them. It is important to form early positive emotional bonds for the child by supporting their needs, accurately responding to them, providing positive attention (i.e., responding with warmth and interest), and reciprocating their emotions (i.e., when they smile you smile back). 

The Four Attachment Styles

There are both secure and insecure attachment styles with three different types of insecure attachments. When a child feels secure they can go out and explore the world because they know they can always return home safely to their family and home. As adults, children who've developed a secure attachment are trusting, can form healthy relationships, and have a positive self-image. 

One type of insecure attachment is anxious-ambivalent which is commonly associated with misattuned and inconsistent parenting. Children could become anxious and clingy because their parents are there for them and sometimes not. They often have emotional outbursts to get attention but once they receive it will act indifferent towards the parent. 

Another type of insecure attachment is an anxious-avoidant or avoidant attachment style which is commonly associated with the parent being emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to the child and their needs. They might show no interest in seeking attention from their parents and avoid them because they think it's useless as their parents haven’t paid attention to them before. 

The last type of insecure attachment is the disorganized attachment which is commonly associated with maltreatment and fear caused by parents, these children are usually unpredictable and display contradictory behaviours. 

How Attachment Patterns Carry Into Adulthood

These attachment styles that children develop can influence and carry over into adulthood later on. Some individuals with early experiences of inconsistent or insufficient caregiving may be more vulnerable to certain coping strategies, including substance use, depending on many other factors. They may also develop an insecure attachment style and be vulnerable to addictions as they seek out what they lack from their childhood. 

What Is Addiction? How Might Attachment May Shape Addiction?

An addiction according to the American Psychology Association is a psychological and/or physical dependence on the use of substances, certain activities or behaviours. This means someone continues to do something even if it has harmful effects (i.e., drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.). The theory of addiction being an attachment style is an interesting topic to further explore as people try to replace the lack of love and attention (secure attachment) in their childhood as an adult sometimes with an addiction. An insecure attachment may be a risk factor for a substance use disorder as one might try and self-medicate to compensate for the lack of love and support they didn’t receive when they were younger. 

Attachment and Social Media Use

A rising area of interest in addictions and attachment styles is an addiction to social media (or problematic internet use). While we know a lot about addictions in the traditional sense we are still learning the consequences of the chronic use of social media.

Problematic internet use is one's excessive and uncontrolled use of the internet that negatively impacts lives. Previous studies have shown inconsistent results of the relationship between secure attachments and internet use as well as the direction and strength of the association between insecure attachments and problematic internet use. Some studies have found that anxious-ambivalent styles were more associated with problematic use while avoidant style attachment was associated with internet use but wasn't as problematic. 

For a look at how phone use can affect connection from the very start, see Can Smartphone Use Affect Infant Development?

What We’re Still Learning

More research is needed to understand the relationship between social media addictions and attachment styles. This would be an interesting topic to further study as newer generations are being born into the technological age. As it continues to advance it would be important to look into the long-term effects of chronic social media usage and its effects on mental health.

If you’re noticing patterns in how you cope or connect, talking with a therapist can help. You’re welcome to book a free consultation to explore what kind of support might fit.

This post offers general information for educational purposes. It is not therapy, does not replace individualized mental‑health care, and does not establish a therapeutic relationship. This content is not supervision or clinical guidance. If you’re experiencing distress or need support, please connect with a qualified mental‑health professional in your area. If you are in immediate distress or at risk of harm, in Canada you can call or text 9‑8‑8 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) or call 9‑1‑1, and internationally you can visit FindAHelpline.com to locate free, confidential support services available in your specific country and language

Written by a student contributor and reviewed by a Registered Psychotherapist.

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Citations 

APA. (2021). Substance use, abuse, and addiction. Apa.org. 

https://www.apa.org/topics/substance-use-abuse-addiction 

Li, J., Li, S., Li, H., Ye, L., & Chen, X. (2024). The relationship between attachment and problematic internet use: A multilevel meta-analysis. Developmental Review, 73, 101146–101146. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2024.101146 

Mcleod, S. (2024, January 17). Attachment Theory in Psychology. Simplypsychology.org; Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html \ Schindler, A. (2019). Attachment and Substance Use Disorders—Theoretical Models, Empirical Evidence, and Implications for Treatment. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10(727). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00727 

Sprouts. (2018). The Attachment Theory - How Your Childhood Affects Your Relationships [YouTube]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOowWxOXCg Team. (2022, August 13). Understanding Addiction Through Attachment Theory. Attachment Project. https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/addiction-and-attachment-theory/ Team. (2020, July 2). Anxious Attachment Style Guide: Causes & Symptoms. Attachment Project. https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/anxious-attachment 

The Attachment Project. (2020). Avoidant attachment style - learn the causes and symptoms. Attachment Project. 

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/ 

The Attachment Project. (2020, July 2). Disorganized Attachment: Causes & Symptoms. Attachment Project. 

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/ 

What Attachment to Social Media May Reveal About One’s Childhood | Psychology Today Canada. (n.d.). Www.psychologytoday.com. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/digital-world-real-world/202203/what-attac hment-social-media-may-reveal-about-ones-childhood

Frequently Asked Questions

What is attachment theory?

Attachment theory describes how early relationships with caregivers shape the way we seek comfort, manage emotions, and connect with others. These patterns, called attachment styles, often carry into adulthood, though many other experiences also shape who we become.

What are insecure attachment styles?

Insecure attachment styles are commonly described as anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized. They tend to develop when care in childhood was inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or frightening, and they can show up later as difficulty trusting others, regulating emotions, or asking for support.

Is there a link between attachment style and addiction?

Research suggests that insecure attachment may be one risk factor for substance use and other addictive behaviours. One explanation is that substances or activities can become a way to soothe distress or fill a gap where consistent comfort and support were missing. Attachment is only one of many factors involved.

Does insecure attachment mean I’ll develop an addiction?

No. Insecure attachment may increase vulnerability, but it doesn’t determine outcomes. Many people with insecure attachment never develop an addiction, and attachment patterns can shift over time through supportive relationships and therapy.

Is social media use linked to attachment style?

Some studies have found links between attachment style and problematic internet or social media use, particularly for people with more anxious attachment patterns. The research is still developing, and findings haven’t always been consistent.

Can therapy help with attachment patterns and addiction?

Therapy can help people understand how their attachment patterns developed, notice how those patterns show up in their coping, and build new ways of seeking comfort and connection. For substance use concerns, therapy is often most helpful alongside specialized addiction support when needed.

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