Are we traumatized or are we something else?
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Are we traumatized or are we something else?
I’m sure that once in your life you have said the phrase, “I’m traumatized…” or “I have PTSD from…”. I know I have. But what really is trauma? What really is PTSD? It’s not something we just say when we have a reaction to a certain event; trauma is more complex than that. While it’s easy to use these words lightly, understanding what trauma and PTSD are helps us better understand ourselves and be mindful of others’ experiences. Together, let’s develop an understanding on what trauma is, why we should avoid self-diagnosis, and how using better language promotes growth!
What really is trauma?
Trauma is not what happened to you - it's about what happens to your body in response to the event. For instance, if you fall off your bike and break your arm, the trauma is not the fall, it is the injury to your arm. This goes the same for mental health. The trauma is not the assault you experienced, it is your body’s physiological response to the assault.
How your body responds to trauma
Psychiatrist Bessel Van Der Kolk says that long after a traumatic event, “[our brains] may be reactivated at the slightest hint of danger and secrete massive amounts of stress hormones,”(Kolk, 2014, p. 19). This causes you to experience unpleasant emotions, strong physical sensations, and aggressive actions.
Trauma physiologically changes you. This can include an increase in stress hormone activity, readjustment in the brain’s alarm system, and changing the are of the brain that, “communicates the physical, embodied feeling of being alive,” (Kolk, 2014, p. 20).
Big T Trauma and Little T Trauma
Big T Trauma: These are catastrophic events that threaten one’s physical or emotional wellbeing. For instance, natural disasters, assaults, and severe accidents are all Big T Traumas. These traumas are often intense and cause immediate psychological distress.
Little T Trauma: These traumas are long-lasting, repetitive experiences that accumulate, leading to severe emotional and psychological damage. This can include bullying, financial insecurity, divorce, and more. Although these events are not life threatening, the build-up over time can be significantly damaging.
Why we should resist self-diagnosis
We may find comfort in finding a community through self-diagnosis-It can make us feel not so alone. It’s natural to want to do it.
Across social-media it is normalized to diagnose oneself with PTSD. We may hear about how traumatizing someone’s disastrous first-date was or how traumatic someone's time at high-school was. But is this trauma? Or is it just a bad experience and some uncomfortable memories? Are TikToks about PTSD symptoms accurate? Or do they just describe common experiences people have? Hearing phrases like “I’m triggered”, “I’m traumatized”, and “I have PTSD” has become a common day-to-day thing. However, this can be harmful and here’s why:
Misinformation/Misdiagnosis
Seeing relatable TikToks about our symptoms makes us feel seen and heard. However, misinformation is present everywhere. Self-diagnosing may cause us to misunderstand what’s really going on. To be diagnosed with PTSD you will need to meet a certain set of criteria. However, these criteria may overlap with other disorders! Mistaking symptoms of anxiety, depression, and even OCD, as PTSD may delay us from the support we truly need.
It can be invalidating to those with PTSD
When we casually use the words “PTSD” or label things as “trauma”, it can unintentionally blur the meaning of what trauma really is. This can be invalidating to those who deal with the everyday struggles of the disorder. PTSD changes people’s lives and damages their well-being. Using more precise language can help us avoid minimizing the experience of those with PTSD.
It can Limit your own Healing - Why Nuanced Language Matters
Using nuanced language instead of labeling everything as trauma actually promotes growth! When we use words other than “trauma”, we process our experiences better. If we talk about our experience in more nuanced language, it helps us give meaning and reasoning to our feelings. Labeling an experience as trauma restricts our ability to understand what happened to us and how it shapes us. Think of it as sweeping our feelings under the rug when we use the word “trauma”. Let’s look at an example:
”My breakup was traumatic”
vs
”My breakup was really painful. It made me question my self-worth and I’ve had trouble trusting people since”
Why is this better?
Using the word “Traumatic” does not tell us how or why we are affected by an experience. Using more nuanced language gives us context and more detail on how we are feeling. Additionally, giving specific names to emotions helps us understand the experience and tackle the real issue (Ex: insecurity or mistrust).
Conclusion
So, are we traumatized—or are we hurting in ways that deserve a different kind of language, care, and curiosity? When we move beyond labels and lean into the nuance of our experiences, we open the door to deeper healing. Naming our pain with precision doesn’t diminish it—it honours it. It helps us understand what we need, how we’ve been shaped, and where we might go next. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and others as we navigate this terrain, remembering that growth begins not with a diagnosis, but with a conversation rooted in compassion and truth.
Citations
- Gardenswartz, C. (2024, July 26). Recognizing the impact of big T and little T trauma. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202407/recognizing-the-impact-of-big-t-and-little-t-trauma?utm_source=
- McVay, E. (2023, August 31). Social media and self-diagnosis. Johns Hopkins Medicine. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/articles/2023/08/social-media-and-self-diagnosis
- Warner, D. (2025, September 6). Risk of mental health self-diagnosis: Chateau Health. Chateau Health & Wellness. https://www.chateaurecovery.com/the-potential-harms-of-mental-health-self-diagnosis-risks-and-realities
- Van, D. K. B. (2014). The body keeps the score : Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. PenguinPublishing Group.